


Peace Was Never An Option

by 13ineedpills13



Series: Obey Me! Main OC Stories [1]
Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Animals, Complete, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:26:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 8,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23724547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/13ineedpills13/pseuds/13ineedpills13
Summary: In which the brothers have to deal with a fucking goose that mc brought in----I was chillin on my bed one night and ended up coming up with thisI'm not sorry for the abomination i've createdNow think of a fat white goose sleeping on lucifer's lap
Series: Obey Me! Main OC Stories [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1900720
Comments: 73
Kudos: 289





	1. Chapter 1

"Fulya."

"What?"

"Why is there a fat," Lucifer makes a round shape with his hands. "...white duck inside the kitchen?"

"Oh him?" Fulya points at the goose, sitting on the table with her. "He's Henk and he's a goose. He comes in once in a while to eat. Isn't he so cute?" She goes back to eating her sandwich she made with the peanut butter of regrets she found in the kitchen. She hated peanut butter with every single fiber of her existence, but there was nothing else to eat that seemed edible for humans in the kitchen.

"Why is it holding a knife in it's mouth?"

"It's his weapon of choice."

"And how did it get inside?" With each question, Lucifer's sanity was slowlt drifting away.

"I let him enter. Don't worry, he doesn't like to take a dump inside." 

"Fulya, get rid of it before I kill both the duck and you."

"He's a GOOSE!"

"What is the difference!?"

"Gooses are buff boys! Just look at his legs!" Fulya started laughing halfway though her sentence when she realized how ridiculous the whole situation was.

For context: after Fulya arrived to Devildom, in her first weekend, she begged Mammon to give her a tour of the city because she was so bored with spending her days inside the house, or at RAD. After some hesitation, Lucifer agreed to let them go.  
Big mistake.

He didn't know that she was still holding her adventurous teenager self at the back of her mind at all. So she and Mammon seperated halfway and she somehow made her way to the outer skirts of the city, to a farm.  
Lord fucking knows how she didn't die.  
Mammon was freaking out over how to find her, since she accidently left her D.D.D in his bag. And if something happened to her, Mammon knew there won't be a future ahead ot him. With that in his mind, he strayed back and forth in the town, showing a picture of her and asking if anybody had seen her. This continued for a while, before Mammon saw her sitting next to the statue in the city center with a sleeping, fat, white goose on her lap. Apparently, she bought the goose from the farmer with the money she earned from working in Hell's kitchen. Everyone assumed she was a freak, so no one took a step near her, fortunately. While she got away with a small punishment since the situation amused Lord Diavolo so much, Mammon ended up being at the mercy of his older brother. Mammon doubted Fulya felt any guilt for him that day.

And ever since that day, the goose somehow made it's way back to the house of lamentation around 2-3 times a week to get food and pets from her. And she even named the fucking goose Henk for the sake of everything that is unholy-

Lucifer thought he got rid of the damn thing!

"I will feed him to Beel then." He crossed his arms and sighed in annoyance. "Or I won't, if you let it go and make sure it's never back again."

"Oh no, you don't, I've grown attached to him! He's gonna come with me when I leave here!"

"It's just a duck. How hard can it be to get rid of?"

"There is no difference between Ceberus and Henk, Lucifer. Also for the last time, it's a goose."

"Unlike the duck, Ceberus is a house animal."

"HOW!? He's a 3 headed dog with rabies for fuck's sake! At least Henk is normal goose!"  
She gave up on correcting Lucifer, since he clearly wasn't listening to her. 

"He IS vaccinated!"

"YOU GUYS HAVE VETS FOR DOGS LIKE HIM!?"

"Of course we do!"

They didn't notice Satan had entered the room until he started laughing loudy with his phone whipped out, recording everything. Lucifer's face instantly flushed 5 shades darker and his eyes shined with fury. "What's going on, Lucif- Are you- Are you two seriously fighting over a goose!? This is not happening right now... Oh shit..."

"Ooooh, it even has a knife on it's mouth! Yooooo, peace was never an option!" They heard Levi's enthusiastic yells, then heard a camera's snapping. Levi was... sitting on top of the fridge, where the modem was and the internet was the fastest. He quickly typed something on his phone and soon, everyone got a notifciation from Devilgram, informing that Leviathan just posted something.

"Ugh, I was having my beauty sleep! Why did you have to wake me up?!" Asmo peeks through the doorway, hissing at everyone with half closed eyes in his claret red fluffy robe. His hair was a mess, which is very unlike him, and he looked genuinely angry. "...Who let that thing inside?"

"It was me."

"Why!? It's ugly!"

"SAY THAT ONE MORE TIME AND I WILL PISS IN ALL OF YOUR WINE CUPS YOU HOE!" 

Belphie and Beel comes in next, hearing the commotion. Beel was just out of his mini-work out in his bedroom so he was wearing his black tank top as usual, and Belphie was the same as always. With his headphones still plucked in his ears (he was listening to my chemical romance), and purple bags under his eyes, he looked like a teenager going through his rebellious phase.  
"A goose?"  
"Can we eat it?"  
"If it shits on my pillow he's going to lose his soul."  
"I bet it's delicious served with spicy gecko sauce."

Then, a familiar voice came through the air vents of the room. 

"Hey, uh, I'm kinda stuck. Mind helpin' me?"

\---  
Extra; 

"And now, Fulya is determined to keep that goose. But I don't want it. What should I do, Lord Diavolo, Barbatos?"

"..."

"You've raisen the 6 children of chaos and just adopted another one, Lucifer." Diavolo smiles. "That goose is doing nothing bad, right? You can just keep it."

"But, my lord... I..." Lucifer grit his teeth, but decided to put his pride away for now. "I... I have no idea how to look after a goose, of all things..."

"Barbatos, you know how to take care of farm animals right?"

"I do, my lord. And I would be happy to help Lucifer."

"That problem has been settled then." Diavolo smiles. "Can you show me a picture of the goose?"

"The duck?"

"No, the goose."

"What even is the difference?" Lucifer thought, he looked like he was about to cry, much to Diavolo's amusement. He pulled out his phone, and showed the picture of a very fat, white goose, sitting on Fulya's lap.

Barbatos raised his eyebrows at the picture and Diavolo began laughing. "...Lucifer, when you said fat, I expected it to be a little round but..."

"He looks like a pillow!" Diavolo's laughter echoed though the walls of his castle.

\---


	2. Belphegor And Henk

It's been a few days ever since Henk started living with the family, and Belphegor was still laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation in his room with Beel, though Belphie was laughing out of anger and Beel was trying his hardest not to piss his pants.

You were supposed to take care of gooses outside in a wide area filled with grass, and clean straw as bedding. Barbatos was currently dealing with that problem, so Henk had to sleep in the house for a while.

The problem is;  
Henk specifically shit on his favorite cow printed pillow.  
So now they had to clean it somehow.

"...Why did he took a dump on that one?"

"I have no idea. But you're cleaning it."

"It's your pillow."

"You were sleeping side by side with him last night, so surely, you don't mind cleaning it's poop too."

"It climbed next to me."

"I don't care. Clean it. I'm too lazy."

"And I have to go and make food tonight." Beel wiped his eyes and got his usual stoic face. "...So I'll be off."

"You better make something good tonight."

"Can't promise I won't eat it all before you come downstairs." With that, Beel leaves closes the door. Belphegor was now left with this abomination of a creature, sitting on top of his drawer while sleeping in a very traumatizing position. How did he even bend his neck over his back with a 180° angle like that? If it weren't for it's wings, Beel would've thought it was a marshmallow and eat it. That's how white this little shit was.

Well, at least it's feathers were soft and smooth.

"...Hey. Look at me."

The goose woke up and stared at him with those dead, beady eyes of his and quacked softly (do geese quack?).

"Why did you poop on my pillow?"

Henk quacked again and went back to sleep immedietly.

"...The audacity, I can't believe you. First, you crash over my room like it's nothing, you shit on my FAVORITE pillow, and now you're sleeping again... I hate you so much. If I knew Lucifer wouldn't kill me, I would've cooked you as food for Beel already."

Henk turns his back at him and continues his slumber.

Belphegor chuckles with both frustration and sadness, and goes over to his darling pillow. He takes a few napkins from drawer, takes the shit itself in it, throws it inside the trash, then pulls the cover off of his pillow. "I will get my revenge from you, so watch out you little lump of white feather fuck. I hate you. I will curse you somehow, and you will live the rest of your short life in pain. You will be the doom of me, but you will suffer long before that. Curses shall be upon you- DON'T SHIT ON THE NIGHT STAND, NO!"

\---

It wasn't too long before Belphegor came down with the fat goose in his hands, putting it down on the table in the common area, and throwing a disgusted look at Fulya.

"You need to teach your kid some MANNERS."

"What did he do?"

"He SHIT on MY pillow. THEN MY NIGHT STAND!"

"Oh, Beel must've fed him too much."

"BEEL!"

Beel popped his head out of the kitchen and stared at them both while munching on the apples he had just cut to use on an apple pie. He was going to make it as desert on tonight's course. "What?"

"What did you give to him?"

"Grass, water, some cracked corn, oats... Why?"

Henk quacked and jumped off of the table, and made his way to Fulya, making small "split-splat" sounds with his feet while walking on the floor. He stopped, looked around, and stared at the table once again. Then, he climbed it AGAIN under Belphegor's curious eyes, knocked over Lucifer's favorite glass off of the table onto the carpet, then jumped to Fulya's lap to make itself comfortable.

"...Did he do that on purpose?"

"Do you really think I would get some ordinary goose with me to this house?" Fulya's eyes sparkled in way that didn't make Belphie feel safe, but he still took a step forward to look closer at what the goose did.

"...He also chased Asmo around with the knife on his mouth the day he came, right?"

"Yeah. I still have a video of that."

"...Okay, goose, Mr. Henk, whatever your name is." Belphie stares directly at the animal. "Maybe we could form a small friendship with you..." Then pats it's head lightly. "No promises though."


	3. Beelzebub and Henk

"...I have to feed it?"

"Yes."

"But I'll just end up eating the food."

"Beel, we bought the food specifically for the goose. If I see you munching on it, you will get your lips stiched together." Lucifer says with an irritated sigh and puts the goose inside the coon thing Barbatos made (well, he called workers over there to do it), and checked the water. 1 bucket of clean, drinking water for the goose, some grass, and other foods that were specifically bought for it. There was also a pool for the goose to swim in. 

The cabinet had fences all around it, in case if a wild animal came over there. Also, the fences were around 4-5 foot tall anyway. And the goose was pretty lazy to jump over the fence anyway. Though this laziness seemed to dissappear whenever it felt like causing chaos all around the house.

"Belphie will clean it's bed, you will feed it, Asmodeus will deal with it's feathers, Satan will take care of the garden, Levi will clean it's dump, and Mammon will do the shopping for it."

"What are you going to do?"

"It's not like I have time on my hands. I also want nothing to do with it."

"He was running away from it while screaming "HELP!" the other day. So I guess it's natural." Belphie smirked from the small door over the fences. Lucifer stared at him blankly for a while, so done with his shit, and decided not to deal with him. If he didn't give any reactions, Belphegor would get bored and stop.

At least that's what he hoped.

But Belphegor wasn't lying about what he said. Lucifer really did ran away from the thing in panic because it got aggressive all of a sudden and began chasing him. Up until that point, the goose was sitting on his desk and looking blankly at him, honking every now and then. But it suddenly started to flap it's wings and jumped on him. 

Lucifer flinched like the time when Diavolo scared him by loudly barking next to his ear as a "joke", and immedietly got up. This seemed to terrify the goose even more and it began chasing him. Lucifer couldn't use his magic on him to stop him, since he promised Diavolo to not do that, so he ran around the house in hopes for the god damn thing to get tired.  
The goose chased him around for quite a while before Beel distracted it with food.

He scoffed when he remembered that and left, going back to the House of Lamentation. Belphie talked to Beel for a few more minutes before he left too, so now Beel was all alone with the goose.

Henk stared at Beel.  
Beel stared at Henk.

"...Can I eat you?"

Henk quacks and sits on the straw bedding. 

"Was that a yes?" The goose stares at him quietly before taking his food cup in his mouth, and putting it in front of Beel.

Beel smiles and pats his head. "Okay, I'll give you food. I guess you're hungry?" The goose quacks excitedly and runs in circles around him, making pit-pat sounds. Beel's smile grows wider as he watches him. This goose was really cute, he would've never thought he would say that sentence once in his life.

"...Okay, here." He says and fills his cup, then turns on the light of the coon when he realized the weather is getting darker. Feeding the goose made him feel hungry too, so he reached out to the candy inside his pocket to eat it but it wasn't there. Did he already eat it? No, he didn't, he was so sure of it.

"Hey, where did I put that cand-" 

He stops dead in his tracks when he sees the goose next to the pool, with the candy in his mouth. The little shit pickpocketed him while he croched down to fill it's bowl.

"...Give me my candy back."

Henk quacks again and enters the pool, swimming around in it with the candy still in his mouth.

"Henk. Give me that back." Beel says and stands over the pool, staring at it angrily. Henk gets out of the pool, but instead of giving the candy back to Beel, he starts running around the field. Beel chases after him and manages to grab him a couple of times, but the fluffy marshmallow manages to escape through his fingers all the time.

"GET BACK HERE!" Beel yells, frustrated. Running around in the edge of the pool was very dangerous and he knew that, but he wanted that candy. He paid for it, and he was going to get it. The goose opened it's wings and began running even faster.

"I swear, I'm going t- SHIT!" He said in panic before his world flipped upside down and he felt a cool and wet sensation all around his body.

In short what ended up happening is: his feet slipped and he dived straight into the water. 

He squirmed around in shock for a few seconds. After a while, he did managed to get out and walked back to the house, looking like a wet rat. He was really annoyed at the goose since it just floated over him and quacked as if it was mocking him the whole time. In the end, he couldn't get the candy after all.

Little did he know, Belphegor and Satan recorded the whole thing from their room's window and laughed their asses off the whole time.


	4. Asmodeus and Henk (And Solomon)

"Why did you called me in panic like that when you only wanted me to brush ᵃ ᵍᵒᵒˢᵉ?"

"ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ ⁱˢ ᵃᵇˢᵒˡᵘᵗᵉˡʸ ⁿᵒ ʷᵃʸ ⁱ ᵗᵒᵘᶜʰ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ᵗʰⁱⁿᵍ, ˢᵒˡᵒᵐᵒⁿ."

"Okay, stop trying to imitate my voice." Solomon says and sighs, sitting on top of the wooden chair in the yard. "...But seriously? It's just a goose. It won't slit your throat, or won't get your face covered in shit."

"He did that to Belphie's pillow, actually."

Solomon raised his brows in surprise, as an amused smile took over his face. "How is it still alive?"

"I have no idea. He also pushed Beel into that pool over there, chased me with a knife, and chased Lucifer around as well." Asmodeus seemed pretty tired and anxious. He never thought his life would lead up to this point, honestly. Him? The former jewel of heavens, and now the center of sinful desires, being afraid of this small thing? {Well, he wasn't THAT small. They weighed him at the vet nearby and he weighed 17 lbs and 6 oz. He was pretty heavy for a goose.}

Solomon laughed when he imagined the total mayhem that happened in the house ever since the goose came in there. He could actually use this to his advantage.  
He was going to regret even thinking about that later on.

"Regardless, I'm not touching him. You're going to do it."

"But it's your job, Asmodeus." 

"I don't care. Make yourself useful for once!" Asmodeus crossed his arms like the brat he is, and sat down on the chair in front of him. He froze when his gaze met with Henk, who had just woken up from his slumber.

His whole face went white.

Solomon looked back and forth between the two and gave one of his sketchy smiles. Asmodeus was seriously scared of this thing. He was probably worried about it ruining his hair, or clothes or something. He didn't understand why Asmodeus insisted that the goose was ugly though, Solomon had never seen a thing cuter than Henk. Maybe because it was fat and fluffy-looking. Who knows? Humans are attracted to round and soft things after all. 

"...What do you say when you call a goose?"

"What?" Asmodeus says and stares at him, occasionally looking back at Henk.

"You say kitty-kitty or pss-pss-pss to a cat. What do you call a goose?"

"How am I supposed to know!? Honk honk? Just... just keep it away from me. It chases you when you run..."

"Then just walk outside?" Solomon says and gets up, slowly getting closer to Henk. "...Hi there. Can I brush your feathers?"

Henk honks at him once and inspects him closely, than makes a dash for it towards Asmodeus as if saying "watch me".

Solomon was sure he was going to have hearing problems for a few days because of Asmo's scream.

\---

Solomon was rolling on the ground while holding his stomach by this point.   
Screw getting any brushing done, the goose straight up launched at Asmodeus and caused him to fall in a pool of mud. His entire back and hair was covered in mud, and Solomon could swear he saw a few, tiny bugs walking on Asmo's clothes. Asmodeus let out another shriek, this time at his ruined clothes and hair. He couldn't really do anything besides curling up in a ball on the ground since Henk still run in circles around him, terrorizing and mocking him.

Solomon was sure he laughed more than he did in the last 10 years. He finally decided to help the poor man when he heard his quiet sniffles and cries, and got closer to him. He picked the goose up, and put it in it's coon, locking the door.

"Okay Asmo, I put it away. You can get up now."

"I'M GOING TO KILL IT!"

"No you won't." Solomon said, giving a comment. That whole sequence was so wonderful that he didn't want to end it right away. Asmodeus shut his mouth at the effect of the command and sat back down on the chair, still crying. "M...my hair... I spent 2 hours on it... And my clothes..." He sniffled again. "I only bought them yesterday! I liked these! It's all because of that DAMN GOOSE! If Fulya didn't brought it in, this would've never happened!"

"...You need help." Solomon said coldly, and wiped away the tears on his face, quietly smirking. "It's been a while since I saw you this stressed..." He said and turned around all of a sudden when he felt a sharp thing tugging his ass, and jumped at least 5 foot tall when he saw the fucking thing standing behind him. Henk was poking his ass with it's beak harshly.

"HOW DID YOU GET OUTSIDE!?" Asmodeus said and jumped on Solomon, wrapping his legs around him for life. Solomon cringed at the feeling of the cool mud getting on his hands as he gripped Asmodeus out of instinct. 

"ASMO GET OFF OF ME!"

They happened to be unlucky enough to be standing next to the shit the goose took.

Solomon's face landed right on it and this time, it was his turn to scream.

Guess the goose COULD get your face covered in it's shit.


	5. Satan and Henk

"Yeah, everyone heard about the goose the student council is keeping as a pet. But a goose out of literally every other animal? Seriously?" A girl student giggles to herself, chatting with her friend over the table.

Satan couldn't help but listen their conversation. He was sitting 2 tables behind them, but could still hear them clearly. "Loud slags..." He thought to himself with discomfort, but still listened to them anyway.

"Pff... Who even let that thing in?"

"Probably the stupid human that lives with them. She didn't even graduated from her university you know! She doesn't even know what 2+2 is."

"I would expect that from her. She had the audacity to call me a slut 2 days ago! Can you believe that?"

"Shit girl, you need to teach her a lesson."

"It'll ve easy. seems like she would do things without thinking anyway."

"Well, the last statement is kind of true. She takes action before thinking." Satan calls out to them and takes a sip from his tea, catching their attention. He smiles happily when the girls' eyes widen, both of them felt the terrifying aura that was coming off of him as the other people surrounding them began laughing in shock.

"But at least she doesn't fuck old, rich men with saggy balls to make a quick buck like you two do... " He turns his head away at his phone and stares at the picture of Henk on his phone. "Though, what did I expect from people that doesn't even know a male goose is called a gander?"

\---

"Henk, come here, big boy!" Fulya calls her dear friend and scoops him up on her arms, planting a small kiss on it's head. "Come on, let's get your feet cleaned up so you can roam around inside the house!"

Satan slowly eeked up from Lucifer's study and made eye contact with the goose, and slowly held out his secret weapon, Henk's favorite snack; Lettuce. He waved it around a bit and tapped his heel on the floor to get his attention. Then put the lettuce on the floor and hid himself behind the wall. 

Henk stared at him with confusion, but when he got a whiff of the lettuce, he flapped his wings and let out loud honk. Fulya panicked and let him go. "Henk, my boy, what happened- AAAAH! Don't walk around, you are leaving footprints everywhere!"

Satan hummed quietly to Belphegor, who was holding quite a few lettuce leaves on his hands, informing him that the plan worked. As the geese continued munching down on the lettuce in front of the door and quacked aggressively at Fulya whenever she tried to pick him up, Belphegor began putting pieces of lettuce everywhere in Lucifer's room as Satan assembled a small camera on the corner of.

"You done?" Satan asks as Belphegor got closer to the window to flee.

"I am. Quick, Fulya is at the front door." He says and jumps on the tree in front of the window (that's how they got inside anyway). 

Satan put the camera away from the window on purpose, so the camera wouldn't record them fleeing from the scene. He got away from it, turned it on, and jumped from the window.

\---

Satan's idea was to have Belphegor lure the chicken (Oh god damn it, first Lucifer is callimg Henk a duck and now Satan is calling him a chicken? Seriously?) in with lettuce while it's feet was still dirty, knowing Fulya would rush to get a mop to clean everywhere up instead of taking the goose away. The chicken would make a mess out of Lucifer's room, and Satan would make sure to record it for his own amusement. And that plan worked splendidly. Even though both of them had no hope in it.

The goose got inside with it's dirty feet, left foot prints all over the room (even the walls, how did he do that?), made a mess of his papers, knocked down his pen holder and tried to eat some of the important paperwork, but let it go after he realized it wasn't lettuce. He then rushed outside when Fulya dashed in to clean everywhere up before Lucifer came.

But to her misfortune, Lucifer came in 10 minutes later.  
A lot of screaming was done that night, from Lucifer's attempt to kick the goose out, to Beel asking if he could eat it ̶a̶̶g̶̶a̶̶i̶̶n̶, from Mammon laughing loudly at the whole situation and to Levi complaining the whole time because they were making too much noise (Asmodeus was over at Solomon's being a thotty acting naughty)... Before Lucifer came in, Satan and Belphie quickly made their way back to the house and took the goose away. Then, they went over to Hell's Kitchen with the goose to grab a bite to eat under everyone's questioning gazes. It was a relief that no one really had anything agganist animals in there as long as you didn't let them roam around...

But a goose?  
Imagine what the staff thought the whole time they ate there.   
One depressed serial killer and the son of lucifer with an eye-bleeding fashion sense just came in with a goose in their hands like it was nothing. 

Satan looked awkwardly at his burger with goose patty in it, and then back at Henk.

Henk seemed to be happy, munching on Belphie's salad. Later that day, Satan found himself texting to Belphie for salvation.

> ...Is fucked up to eat goose meat in front of goose?  
> Like, does it understand that I'm eating it's cousin right before it's eyes?  
> Not that I would care, mind you.

A a response came 2 minutes later.

> satan  
> go back to [̲̅s̲̅][̲̅l̲̅][̲̅e̲̅][̲̅e̲̅][̲̅p̲̅]  
> it's 2 am  
> for duck's sake  
> duck i meant duxk  
> eh  
> whatver

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We all know this blonde shitstain is too smart to be fooled by henk's moves lol


	6. Leviathan And Henk

"Out of everyone, why do I have to clean your shit?" Levi asks the goose. He covered his nose and mouth with a scarf he found in his drawer and began sweeping the last night's dinner off of the floor.

Henk quacks loudly and makes himself comfortable on the pool. As he drifted around aimlessly on the water, he watched his poop slave. Leviathan hissed at the goose's mocking gaze and continued picking up it's dump, putting it in a plastic bag to throw it away later. 

"...You know, you've caused quite the problem for my brothers. Belphie says you are the reincarnation of the god of chaos, Asmo just hates you, Satan thinks you aren't actually a goose, since you're so smart... It would be funny if you were actually a human trapped inside a goose's body."

Henk quackes again, and leaves the pool. He moves around a bit but soon goes over in his coon and goes into a peaceful slumber, clearly not acknowledging Levi's presence.

"...Hey, look at me when I'm talking to you." Levi says but sighs when he gets no answer from the goose. Well, it wasn't a hassle for him anyway. The more this goose kept quiet, the more Levi was safe. He didn't want to pushed inside the pool, or get his face covered in shit after all.

But it was really boring.

His life had no excitement in it at all.

"...Do you usually sleep all day like Belphie? Really? I expected some action you know. Like that one side character from "I Got Reincarnated As A Stupid Teenager In The Human World, Despite Of The Fact That I'm Actually A Demon and I Have No Idea How To Cope With It Since I'm Completely New To The Human Culture, Someone Please Help Me"... Though he wasn't a goose. And he was cooler."

Henk stared blankly at him from his coon when he said that, head still tucked in between it's feathers. 

"...What? Do you understand what I'm saying? ...Well, whatever. I'm going to rest a bit." Levi says and washes his hands with the hose that's attached to the backside of the coon, there was a water tank that was connected to a nearby river from underground. After his hands were nice and clean, he sat down on the chair and pulled his small manga out of the inner pocket of his black jacket. He began reading it as the goose slept.

But he got bored again, so he decided to go back to the House of Lamentation to grab a bite to eat, leaving his manga there.

When he came back with 2 chicken sandwhiches in his hand, his manga was gone. Panic swelled up inside him as he put his sandwhiches down, searching for his manga. Henk was sleeping at his coon, so he "guessed" he wasn't the culprit. He looked around more and more, even going back to the house again.

But this time, his sanwhiches were gone. 

"What the hell?" He says and began looking for the sandwhiches this time. There were nowhere to be found. Damn it, he was looking forward to them too!

He looked around a bit more and froze when he saw something horrifying; His manga was swimming in the pool.

Leviathan let out a confused and terrified shriek at the sight of his beloved manga swimming like Henk on the pool and reached out to the nearest pole. He tried to get his book back. He kneeled down in front of the pool and reached to the book with the pole, but it was just so far away. He leaned a bit more and almost fell on the pool, cursing as he pushed himself back ( s҈ o҈ m҈ e҈ h҈ o҈ w҈ ).

Henk watched him in silence and stared at the sandwhiches at his bed, and looked around a bit more to find some things to steal. But since he found nothing, he remained seated on his position.

"Hey, you didn't take anything, right? I'll pluck your feathers one by one if you did THIS!" Levi yelled and pointed at the manga in the pool, furious. "I loved this manga! I loved it so much, I was just about to uncover what happened to the succubus that almost died in her friend's arms in the last volume!" 

Henk stared back at him and quacked softly.

"You little..." Levi threw the bag of shit at Henk, making him flap it's wings and quack aggressively. 

"Don't speak to me in that tone of voice! You threw it there didn't you!?" 

Henk quacked as if saying "I didn't do anything!" at that.

"I will be watching over you!" Levi says and turns around, but bangs his forehead on the door to the coon. Hissing, he holds his forehead and curses at the goose and continues picking up it's shit. He puts the pack of latex gloves next to the small shovel he was using to pick up the dump and streches for a while. But the next moment he turns back at his stuff, they were gone too.

He feels his tail slowly merging from his back as he stared at the coon. His eyes shined with annoyence and a dark aura surrounded him, but he knew if he did anything stupid Fulya would never talk to him again. So he controlled himself.

"Henk... Oh Henk, thine name is wondrous...~ Give me back my stuff! Do you enjoy annoying me this much!?"

He was met with silence.

"...Henk?" Levi slowly walks over to the coon and gets inside. He didn't want to admit, but he was a little worried. The worry devoured him more when he realized Henk was nowehere to be found. 

"Where did he even go?" He mumbles to himself, and begins to search around inside the small coon. 

He jumps out of his skin when Henk bites him from his ass. 

Well, that was going to bruise.

"WHOAAAAH!" Levi falls on his straw bedding, getting dirt all over himself. Groaning, he tried to get up but his hand slipped under the slightly wet straw and his face plumped back on it. He felt something under his hand wiggling and slowly pulled it back, staring at it.

There was a squashed cockroach inside his palm.


	7. Mammon and Henk

"Kay... Buddy. I've seen your tactics. I've seen how you fooled my brothers one by one. I've seen it all. And I got all of 'em recorded by the way, ya wanna see?" Mammon says and points at his phone.

He was sitting with the goose in a park. The goose even had a leash on him. While Mammon muched down on his instant noodles, he actually bought the goose some food to eat as well (yeah, he didn't pay for if. He just got some cabbage and lettuce he got from a restaurant's leftovers. The restaurant workers gave him weird stares when Mammon entered with a goose on a leash inside there, but didn't question it since everyone in the Devildom knew Mammon was an idiot and he would do something like this.)

"Ain't it nice that I did that? Heh, I don't got anythin' on Satam though. That's a shame... Wanna see?" Henk stares at him while his mouth was still full of lettuce intensely. I don't even know if a goose can look at you intensely, but he doesn't even act like a goose anyway. Henk is an entity of his own.

"Nuh-uh. You gotta pay a price for that! I ain't doin' anything for free... I can show you the Devilgram Lord Diavolo made for ya though. It's amazin'."

Mammon unlocks his phone and shows a devilgram page under the name "AvatarOfChaos_Henk". The profile picture had a photo of him, sleeping peacefully. It was taken with a professional camera, since everything about the picture was perfect. Diavolo even made him wear a classy looking, green bow-tie to complete the look, saying "A suit is never complete without a nice tie." 

Henk looked like a marshmallow with a bowtie in the picture when he closed his eyes however.

The devilgram account got more than 25,000 followers under a week. Henk was very popular now, as there were many stickers and gifs of him doing funny and stupid shit on the account. People loved to use his gifs as reaction memes, especially on the devildom equivelent of Twitter. (Yes, I still haven't got a creative name for it.) Some people even made plushies of him and sold them online! 

In short, Henk became the icon of RAD in a short amount of time.

"See? That's you." Mammon says and points at the most liked picture, a picture of Henk sleeping with Fulya.

Henk, on the other hand, continues to stare at him. "...What? Ya wanma say somethin'?" Mammon says, but gets distracted when Levi messages in the group chat. It was a screenshot from Devilchat. Someone took a picture of him and captioned it "mammon's casually showin' pics from his phone to a goose lmao 😂😂".

> HEY! Who took that pic!?

> idk lol

> Levi, I swear to hell if ya took that photo, you're gonna lose your soul

> do demons even have souls 

> We'll see about that when I get there to beat your ass!

> lol   
> shut up bitch

Mammon locked his phone with frustration and tucked it inside his pocket. He huffs and stares at the goose, who quacks at him as if he expected more food.

"Now everyone's gonna make fun of me. Ya happy?" Henk streches his wings out and jumps a little, making small "hraff hraff" sounds. 

"Ya REALLY are happy!" 

Mammon doesn't know if he should be upset or not. Henk would rarely show signs of being happy unless he was around Fulya, or Barbatos. Most of the time, he would just stare at the brothers quietly and cause whatever mischief he had on his tiny brain.  
So, should he cherish this tiny moment or get angry at him because he obviously made fun of him?  
Well, if he recorded it and showed it to his human, she would definetly be happy and go along with his next plan at pranking Lucifer! Happy Goose=Happy Human!

...Right?

Mammon decided to record the happy sounds the goose made and watched it in amusement. 

"Hehe! Aren't you a happy lil' goose? You love your master's demon, right? Right?" He was honestly enjoying himself at the sight of his happy marshmallow. I mean, who doesn't love Henk? Who doesn't love geese? Or ducks? Or any winged animal besides bqld eagles (since they look like douchebag chad's that take gym classes way too seriously) and bats?

His thoughts are interrupted when the goose hisses and flaps his wings.

"Uuh... Dude, ya alright?"

Henk stares at him and honks louder, straightening his neck. Something clearly made him feel uneasy.

"Ya know, we can talk about it if ya feel unsafe... or anxious. What's wrong..."

Henk hisses once more and jumps on him.

Mammon tries to throw the thing off of himself and drops his phone in slow motion, but it's already too late.   
The goose had already activated his attack mode and he is now invincible to any other outsider force.

\---

"You idiot. You absolute moron. I still can't believe you even DID this." Fulya says and presses the antiseptic on his cheek harshly, causing him to whine. Mammon could swear he saw Lucifer smile a little at that as he sat on the infirmary bed.

"F-Fulya! It hurts!"

Fulya pays no mind to him and puts a band-aid over the scar. "Even someone as stupid as you knows not to LEASH A GOD DAMN GOOSE and then CORNER IT SOMEWHERE. You know gooses are wild animals. You KNOW they don't like being cornered and feel threatened easily." Fulya gets up and puts the first aid kit away, slowly losing it with each move and step. 

"Who the fuck would leash a goose and go out for a walk like it's a dog!?"

"...I do." Mammon says and hesitantly raises his hand.

Fulya frowns like she just discovered the strings that are holding the universe together. "Shit, you're right..."

"You should expect this much from Mammon... And Henk." Lucifer says and shrugs, petting the goose's head lightly while no one is looking.

Maybe he could get along with him, at least a little?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up is the queen of single moms lol


	8. Lucifer and Henk

Lucifer hated a lot of things.   
Like making hellfire mushroom rolled cigar cookies, showing weakness, having someone touch his hair, humans, witches, his brothers, being alive, god himself... It was so easy to trigger him, that it was almost scary instead of amusing. In short, he was the short definition of a 14 year old boy going through his rebellious phase.

Or a feminist.

Your pick, really.

The only difference is most rebellious teenagers or feminists doesn't have an intense fear agganist gooses. Yes, this anser caerulescens of human realm origin traumatized HIM, The Avatar Of Pride, who rules the Devildom and it's seven layers alongside the crown prince Diavolo.

He couldn't be more infruiated and humiliated.

But he just couldn't keep himself from petting the damn thing. He would give him a small pat on the head when no one looked, or gave him a small snack when it begged and annoyed him constantly so it would shut up. But he accidently pampered it too much and now, there was no such thing is discipline on this animal. If only he could train it like he did with Ceberus.   
I f o n l y .

He had been chased for 2 hours around the house, got picked and bit on the ass, got his salad stolen, got his dog traumatized (Whatever Henk did to him... The poor dog was whimpering, all curled up on the corner when he found him. It took 3 days for him to completely turn back to normal), got his god damn lunch stolen 4 days in a row, had to arrange a tea party between the goose and Diavolo. Now, he had a terrible headache, he just wanted to sleep.

But Henk had other plans. And as a result, he was sleeping.  
On Lucifer's bed.  
Next to him.  
Peacefully and tucked under the covers like he wasn't screaming at his door with a voice identical to a cursed mix of a pterodactyl and blob fish. Why was it even roaming around the hallways of the house??? Lucifer had no idea.

He stared at the goose for a few more minutes in an aqwkward silence before giving in and petting it's feathers like a cat.

"...Are you really a goose?"

"Fool."

"...What tHE F-" Lucifer tumbled on the floor in panic, causing Henk to flap his wings and get up.  
"You can talk!?" 

"Of course I can, ye limpdick chamber pot."

"...Limpdick chamber pot?"

"Ye heard me, fool."

Lucifer's head was giving off countless question marks as he listened to Henk and his life story. He met a talking goose for the first time in his life, and the first thing it did was to insult him? Where was his manners!?

"Wait- Wait, wait, wait. Does this mean you understood us the whole time?" Lucifer felt his face getting whiter and whiter. He complained about literally anything and anyone in his life with his quite colourful voblucary, next to the thing.   
What if it understood him? What if it told everything to Diavolo? 

Time to put this little shit stain into the deep fryer at Hell's Kitchen.

"Of course. I heard everything ye said. About the boomer prince. About the barbie doll. About my mother. About my uncles... Ye shall pay for these insults with yer blood." It says and pulls out a knife under Lucifer's pillow.

Fortunately, Lucifer didn't have anxiety.  
But if he did.  
Hoo boy.

"Henk, we can talk over things. Let the knife down."

Henk puts the knife down and stares at him. Those damn beady eyes...   
"Lûlû. Haven't ye heard?"

"What the fuck is Lûlû?!" Lucifer couldn't help but yell, trying to get his brother's attention. "And what haven't I heard!?"

"The lizard boy's first words when he greeted yers truly."

"You mean Levi? No, no I don't- Henk. Don't come any closer. This is an order!"

"Peace was never an option." 

"What?"

"PEACE WAS NEVER AN OPTION." Henk makes a weird sound between screaming and honking, takes the knife in his mouth and launches at Lucifer with his wings opened. The last thing Lucifer heard was his own scream.

\---

"Lucifer."

"Yes?"

"May I ask why you made me accompany you all the way to your room? I mean, I don't mind but I'm curious." Diavolo says as they walk towards the House Of Lamentation. 

"...You will learn soon enough, my lord."

"Yeah but I want to learn it now." Diavolo whines in a child-like way and clings on Lucifer's arm, grinning to himself. He had always been a curious person, and didn't like secrets. "Will you tell me?"

"Lord Diavolo, people will think stupid things if you cling onto me like that..."

"Like what?"   
He wanted him to say it. This prince, I swear to god...

"You know what I'm talking about, for hell's sake." 

"I don't. If you want me to stop holding your arm like this, then I'll hold your hand." 

"My goodness..." Lucifer shakes his head. "Fine. I'm only going to tell this once. So listen carfully, please." 

Diavolo nods.

"The reason why I want you to come with me is I can't trust anyone else, even Barbatos, and you are on your break at the moment. That goose terrifies me. I had a nightmate 5 days ago, and now I feel like it's going to kill me when I'm shower. That's why I want you to come all the way with me to my room, so if we meet with it on the hallway, I can use you as food for i- I mean, you can protect your dearest friend. I'm losing my mind. There, are you satisfied with my answer?"

The only response he gets from Diavolo is a huge fit of laughter instead, making Diavolo hold his stomach and fall on his knees on the process.


	9. Henk's Glory; THE FINALE

Lots of cute and funny memories were made with Henk.

The chaos he caused all around the House of Lamentation was heard by everyone in Devildom, and it actually brought a smile upon these normally pessimist denizens. All of a sudden, the gloomy weather had vanished, leaving many people talking about a certain white and fat goose, causing mischief for the demon brothers. There were news of him playing on TV and Radio stations, his Devilgram account exploded and the sales from his merchandise was so much that the website making the sales crashed 5 minutes after launching the new merch out. 70% of the money was given to farmers and animal take-carers all around the Devildom to support them as well.

Henk kept the brothers entertained and some of them actually became a bit more responsible, and happy, after a while. Even Levi seemed to leave his room more often to greet the goose now.

But as it is the case with everything, all good things must come to an end. Henk became ill by the end of the year. They learned the disease he got was fatal and it was already too late to treat him by that point. Henk's organs were failing. They never knew why he got sick in the first place. They gave him clean water, healthy food, cleaned his feathers occasionally.  
Most importantly, Henk was a happy animal. He always was.

He also kept the others around him happy.

Lucifer's heart shattered into thousands of pieces when he got the news from the vet. Henk wasn't a young goose, he was pretty old. No wonder his body couldn't hang on much longer.

Henk got worse towards the end of the exchange program, and despite of not being given information about his son's condition, Fulya noticed something was off. He questioned it thousands of times with Lucifer and. Barbatos, but got no answer.  
And during the day of her leave, Henk passed away peacefully in his sleep, he hid himself inside of Fulya's shirt she left as a gift for Henk before passing on.

They held a funeral for Henk at the backyard. It would be a lie if Lucifer didn't shed tears during the whole funeral. He cursed again at how short-lived mortal beings were, and excused himself. Henk's devilgram dissappeared soon after, but people never forgot about him. His picture was hanged on the most visible spot of the main hall at the House of Lamentation, with the exchange students. Same for the castle as well.

The brothers were sad and guilty of not letting Fulya know of this.  
But as an old saying we mostly see on meme videos says:  
Don't cry because it's over.  
Smile because it happened.

This was the story of Henk and his mischieves all around the Devildom.  
Brought to you by yours truly. 

You thought I would say, but s i k e.  
Fulya brought the goose back with her to the human realm and the goose lived happily ever after.  
The end.


End file.
